Your most frequently asked questions
all in one place
Find answers to your questions from our 5+ years of accompanying Tantric Sessions for beginners and more advanced folks
Tantra Massage
"What is happening in a Tantra
Massage? Is that an erotic massage?"
A Tantra Massage is a slow full-body massage with different kinds of grounding, soft, sensual and honoring touch. It is opening a space of unconditionally loving presence for whatever is alive in your body: for your pleasure, same as your pain, for the parts that vibrate and feel alive and those that might feel numb, empty, tense or absent. Every part of the body is treated equally as something absolutely natural, innocent and worthy of love, care and appreciation. It distinguishes itself from an erotic massage in that is has no goal, does not want to result in an orgasm and it does not offer stimulation or manipulate arousal in any way. It rather sensitizes the body to feel whole again, to vibrate with aliveness without needing further stimulation or climaxes to feel its potency. Also - compared to erotic services - there is no interaction and the giver is there in a transpersonal space and not as an erotic opposite. An erotic massage can be consumed in a more superficial way, while a Tantra Massage invites the depth of your heart, your inner cild parts, your emotional body and - if that is something you resonate with - your soul.
Elements of a Tantra Massage:
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Pre-Talk (Speaking about your Intentions, Curiosities, Fears and Boundaries and offering you tools to be with whatever comes up in the Session. This part will be concluded by you taking a shower before the session and dressing in a Lunghi)
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Standing Ritual (Dressed in a Lunghi, Honoring & Grounding the Body)
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Sensitizing and Grounding (You are arriving on a warm Futon and in a slow, grounded way your body is supported to start sinking in, to release tension and to slowly be sensitized by gentle and grounding touch)
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Oil Massage (This part varies in length and has no script: Its is a slow, consensual full body massage with warm almond oil and moves at the pace of your yes and no and your slowest parts. There will be regular check-ins to What you are experiencing and if that experience is what you want)
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Yoni, Lingam, Prostate Massage (These are usually dedicated towards the end of the massage, when the body is slowed down and fully relaxed. These happen only when desired, with verbal consent and specifically for the internal Yoni massage there will be 3 "Yes" needed in that moment for it to happen: 1. Your verbal, consensual "Yes" 2. The "Yes" of your Yoni 3. The "Yes" of the practioners body)
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Holding, Opening & Integrating (a part a the end of the massage where you are just held and invited into a serene mediative space concluded with 5 minutes on your own to let the ripples of the session gently integrate)
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After-Talk (After a shower, you'll come fully dressed back into the Room to either drink a bowl of tea in silence together or speak about your experience)
Yoni & Lingam
"What do you mean when you say Yoni or Lingam?"
Yoni is a Sanskrit term derived from traditional Tantric lineages and could be translated as "source" or "origin" but also als "temple". It refers to female genitalia and includes both the external (Vulva) and internal parts (Vagina). We believe that words do make a difference and speaking about female genitalia as something as sacred as the origin and source of Life and as a temple that you meet with humbleness and devotion, makes a difference in how we relate to our own body. Other common words might carry notions of serving male genitalia or might have tastes of devaluation, therefore we chose to use the ancient word Yoni to honor and celebrate her with words, too, without any religious connotation.Lingam is a Sanskrit term for the male genitalia and can be translated as “symbol” or “sign” or “pillar of light” and refers back to the symbolism of Shiva, the masculine principle of the universe and its creational power. Please note that whatever way you prefer about your pelvic space and genitalia, we will adapt and adhere to that and use your preferred wording or language.
Couples Workshops
"What happens in the private couples workshops?"
Our private couples tantric workshops are designed to allow you to re-connect in a slow, honest, attuned and alive way with each other through Tantric Principles: Honoring what is, Expression, Slow Sensuality, a relaxed, non-goal-oriented approach to Sexuality, a heart-centered Intimacy and the Willingness to be surprised by your partner over and over again. What you would like to explore, as well as your boundaries as couple and individually will be discussed at the beginning of your workshop or also in a free discovery call beforehand.
The Art of Intimacy Sessions can, but don't have to, include:
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Learning bits of Theory of important Principles, Mindset & Tantric Practices
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Practices to ground, land together and explore Sensuality from a relaxed body
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Exploring the Art of Tantric Touch & 4-Elements Touch for the whole Body
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Learning Honoring, Devotional Practices like the Standing Ritual
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Reconnecting through Embodied Practices & Deepening Emotional Intimacy
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Practicing Communication, Consent & Exploring Desires, Expressing Boundaries
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Learning slow, present, unconditionally loving Touch & Listening Hands
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Advanced: Meeting Patterns in Shared Intimacy & Sexuality & Offering Repair
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Advanced: Exploring Yoni, Lingam & Prostate Massage for each other
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Advanced: Playing with Energy, Kundalini, Tantric Archetypes
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Advanced: Exploring Tantric Submission, heart-centered Dominance and
the Art of Tantric Shibari for Couples
Nudity
"Is partial or complete nudity required for the sessions or workshops? Do I have to be naked?"
No. Nudity is at no point a pre-requisite for Tantric practise. You might have the most touching, arousing, heart-and pelvis opening experience with yourself or with your partner while being fully clothed and not even touching your partner.
Some say, 90% of the magic happens in the energetic space, in the space of "almost". While this is open for discovery, rest assured that you can be as clothed or as naked as you feel like in any given moment. That being said, there is practices benefitting from skin to skin contact and partial nudity (oil massage parts, body to body contact, yoni/lingam worshipping, sensitizing) You can choose how naked or clothed you want to be at any given moment. The facilitator will always be wearing underwear and a Lunghi.
Shyness & Boundaries
"I'm feeling shy to enter such a space and be witnessed for the first time at such a level of intimacy."
We are aware that this is a tender and fairly intimate step to invite yourself into. Being witnessed in and of itself holds both magic and lots of vulnerability. Being touched and held intimately by a person you do not yet know, might feel a bit scary, maybe unknown, maybe also exciting. Rest assured that your boundaries at any given moment are respected and that you will have a choice how close or far - or if at all - you would like the masseuse to be. You have a choice to slow down, to pause or stop a practice at any given moment and will be guided into discovering what you want or need in that. You get to choose how deep you would like to go. Any moment anew. Any moment is new in the body and we will offer you ways to explore that and listen to that. We do also practise communication, check-in regularly and have safety words such as pause and stop. You can always send us out of the room and call us back.
Eros & Sexuality
Is this an erotic or sexual space? How much permission is there for Eros to flow?"
Another common misconception of Tantra is, that it is only about erotic or sexual expression and practices. While Tantra is inclusive and welcoming of these energies, it is by far not the only aspect of it. There is heart-centered intimacy, emotional practices, mediation and awareness building, breath work, voice activations, communication, moving energy, archetypal work and even more... So here is what this space is about: Eros, as a universal life force that flows through every living being is absolutely welcome. Your pleasure is welcome. Your sensuality is welcome. Your expression and your body is fully welcome. AND this is not a space to fully live all our erotic fan out. It is a non-penetrative, a non-fetish space and everything being practice is devoted to Truth and Love, devoted to the power and wisdom of your heart(s). You can always clarify further in the beginning of your sessions and are invited to be precise about your boundaries, which energies you want to welcome for that time.
Gender & Fluidity
Is my / our gender identification relevant? Is Tantra only binary?
Maybe you have noticed from the previous sections of the FAQ that Tantra is a very inclusive, non-judgmental practice. While some streams of Neo-Tantra and classic Tantra seem to interpret quite traditional gender roles, the essence of those archetypal energies goes far beyond binaries or clear biological demarcations. We are regarding gender expression as a spectrum of possibility and infinite creativity and unlearning your patterns and traditional gender roles can be quite liberating. You get to play with penetrative and receptive qualities beyond your biological or social gender ideas, if you want that. Yet, there is absolutely also no shame about fully and happily embodying certain traditional gender qualities - so whatever offers you the capacity to be present, to stay open, to be willing to be surprised and touched, might be right for you at any given moment.We do offer these space also for marginalized folks and beings from the Trans-community, while also ackknowledging that it is a tender space to hold with care, accountability, curiosity and the willingness to learn and show up for repair.
Trauma-Sensitivity
"I know or sense, that my body is holding Trauma. Will this be the
right setting or space for me?"
This is a vast, vast field, so please feel welcome to write us a personal message if you are unsure. We all carry big or small moments of Trauma in our bodies, whether it is through our biography or transgenerationally through the lineages before us - and nowadays we are having access to such an abundance of tools and ways to meet it.
Yet, that being said, the right moment, the internal availability, the right setting, the right relational and logistical structures are needed for us to meet it in a way that is actually attuned with our momentary nervous systems capacities. So this will be a very individual exploration and we encourage you to book a discovery call and allow your body, your slowest parts to really sense if this moment, this setting and this therapist are right for you right now. The key to meeting Trauma for us has been an inner spaciousness that is ready to approach each moment at the pace of your slowest parts and not trying to be faster, more or more intense than that, even if other parts are yearning for it. Non-goal-orientation, feeling resourced and unconditional loving presence are really making a difference here. All our therapists are traumainformed and practiced in traumasensitive bodywork, yet this is so much more personal than just knowing that someone has the right tools or techniques to meet you there.
Relationship Framing
Is Tantra only a practice for monogamous, heteronormative relationships?"
No. Absolutely not. It is a common misconception - probably arising from neo-tantric interpretations and polarity work, that only heterosexual or heteronormative relational settings in monogamous structures benefit from tantric practises. Tantra welcomes all that is, welcomes you just as you are. We are an organisation dedicated to Truth, Love and Presence, and those know neither societal norms, nor sexual or relational preferences. You are welcome as you are, whether you have just met, are long-term friends, lovers, partners, play-partners. Whether you are in a closed monogamous setting, or exploring poly. Whether you identify as any "..."-sexual, or none.
Feel welcome.
Goals & Orgasms
"Can I expect or count on an orgasm during the massage to feel complete / release?"
No. There is really nothing you can "expect" in the realm of honest tantric practice, besides meeting the momentary truth of your body, mind and soul in a non-goal-oriented way. Orgasms are fully welcome, if they want to happen naturally, organically and in attunement with relaxation, devotion to the heart and listening to the body. Tantra massages are not erotic massages, they don't provide erotic services, but are a deeply devotional practice to Truth and Love. Chasing an orgasm to feel complete, or using it to release tension or stress, are patterns that can be met during the massage and you're invited to sink a layer deeper to meet what wants to be avoided or bypassed through that chasing. Tantric massages are a radically non-goal-oriented practice and it can be easy, tempting and comfortably known to hop on the train of expectations, fantasies or orgasmic desires and yet we are inviting you to always come back to the present moment and to learn to move and savour the energy so that you keep your freedom to stay fully present and to choose to let an orgasm unfurl, instead of hunting it. Our main principle for all things pleasure-, release-, expression-, juices- and orgasm-related is: No forcing and no holding back.
If you do not want to let go of the goal of an orgasm, this is not the right space for you, but there is others we can recommend.
Touch & Reciprocity
"Is reciprocated touch part of a Tantra Massage? I really want to give back to the masseuse."
No. Tantra Massages are an unconditional, non-reciprocal devotional practice that involves no touching back, no giving back and no personal interactions between receiver and giver on a personal level. That is why the Tantric Masseues are wearing underwear and a Lunghi, while you can be fully naked, to have a representation of that difference. You can direct your generosity fully back to yourself to allow to receive something unconditional and just for you being you. And of course your financial contributions is a beautiful way to "give back" in a clearly defined and consensual way.
If you are not familiar with the Wheel of Consent, we recommend to have a look at it if you notice the pattern to want to give back a lot in your life. It might help you to identify and clarify your intentions and communication around it in other areas of your life. Please note: Any try to force or push for reciprocal contact that might also include trying to kiss, touch or pull the Tantric practitioner into an action will result in terminating the session immediately and at full cost as it is a violation of the agreements with space and therapist.
Experience
"Do we need to have any knowledge or experience to participate in the workshops?"
Tantra used to be an initiatory path exclusive to those experienced in awareness-based practices and courageous enough to be initiated also by death, darkness and ritual. Dakinis could be quite gruesome in appearance, practice and setting. That is not the case in modern lineages anymore. So, no pre-existing tantric knowledge or experience is needed for you to be able to savour some of its magic. That being said, the willingness and courage to show up, come back to presence and love, again and again and the availability for depth that Tantra in its all-encompassing nature offers naturally, might be helpful allies on the path. Same accounts for your willingness to connect with breath, sounding & movement. So take a moment to get honest with yourself (and your partner): Do I want to make myself available for that?
Extending & Customizing
"Can the offers be extended or customized for our personal occasion, location and needs?"
Yes, in many occasions that is possible. This is about your individual journey. So as long as your capacities and the boundaries of our practice allow for it, everything is imaginable. It is advisable to check about options beforehand and to let us know about your ideas in advance. We have offered wedding anniversaries, offered intensives in cities and retreat centers all over Europe, created super individual and customized journeys, that might include sensual fruit platters, rose petal baths, sauna (if available), personal playlists and honouring rituals for pregnancy, engagement celebrations, grief rituals and more... If you have an idea, feel free to write us a message. That being said, we do not offer hotel visits or home visits - as these conflate private/personal spaces with a practise that needs clarity, safety and energetic alignment.
PME & Dysfunctions
"I am struggling with pre-mature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction or otherwise feel pressure to perform or function. Can Tantra support me to meet that?"
Yes, in many cases. As we are emphasizing again and again, Tantra is dedicated to Truth and Love in the present moment. To loving your body as it is and to take its language as an oracle for finding your Truth. Often when you are navigating PME (pre-mature ejaculation), erectile dysunctions, or perfomance pressure, there are underlying tensions, patterns of shame, unresolved trauma or fear of intimacy at the root of it that can cause, re-iterate and worsen the symptoms. Only very few of those symptoms are actual physical limitations, most have their origins in a mix of psycho-somatic stressors and a self-fulfilling feedback loop of fear-based anticipation ("fear, that it will happen again"). Tantra can support you in meeting yourself intimately and building a solid foundation of self-love, radical solidarity with your body's truth and intimately getting to know the underlying patterns that cause those symptoms. Also, at no point is an erection needed or even relevant to experience the full spectrum of tantric ecstasy and bliss and to have a really fulfilling experience. This topic is a lot about releasing all expectations towards yourself and letting go of patterns of subjugating your body. We are not here to pathologise or "solve" anything, but to meet what is yearning to be witnessed, with unconditional loving presence. Additionally, Tantra supports you in building capacity for moving more intensity, energy and ecstasy through your body without the need to release. Over the course of a few sessions you will notice subtle shifts in that capacity, that support you in the journey of being with sexual energy in a balanced and fulfilling way.
Feel welcome to address all of those worries, pain points and patterns in your request, in a discovery call or also in the pre-talk and we are happy to offer you guidance, a space for healing and support.
Communication & Clarity
"How can I communicate with you and is my data safe? "
We are dedicated to making sure that this space feels as safe and clear to you, as to our therapists. That is why we do not accept bookings without a name, valid phone number and e-mail and that is also why we are asking for your motivation or intention beforehand, to make sure that we are a good match for you and that you are clear what you can expect at our studio - that is: no erotic services, no naked therapists, no last-minute bookings.
Rest assured that your personal data is handled with great care and confidentiality by only one person at a time. We take the approach of creating a slow and safe space seriously and are happy to redirect you to other institutes, in case anonymity or reciprocal touch are desires of yours. If you would like to inquire, you have a question or you would like to book a session, please do so through our booking form. You can also easily book yourself in for a discovery call without filling the form first.
Our Therapists
"Will I be able to choose
my therapist?"
Yes, you can choose your therapist. Just be aware that not all our therapists are offering all of our modalities. Jelka and Hannah are primarily accompanying couples and offering 4-hand-experiences. All our therapists have undergone both extensive, certified trainings in more than 3 modalities but have also committed themselves to continuously receiving sessions as well to guide their own process. We are working in a consensual, slow and trauma-sensitive way and offer different tools of learning to feel and communicate your boundaries and desires. If you would like to get more of a feel for our approach and our purpose and values here is a references and interview from founder and client Miriam Jacks with our Carina, the founder of The Art of Intimacy (version with auto translate available here):
